Thainite Diary-Thai Bar girls Bangkok Nightlife

Back from a visa run to discover my next door neighbor has a new addition, one of the Bangkok bar girl posse seems to have moved in. I don't think he's actually aware that she's decided she's there permanently yet but the fact that she's been slowly moving in "changes of clothes" by the carrier bag full should have given it away.

I actually heard the sounds of a Thai soap opera coming through the walls yesterday so I guess his days of watching "best of the 80's" on VH1 are numbered. Give it another week or so and his apartment will be decorated with stuck together Jigsaw puzzles, Cheap Teddy bears and retouched photographs of her and her friends from Mahboonkhrong.

These photos seem to be a staple of the Thai bar girls apartment, take a really good looking girl then screw around with the picture till the face is a blur but as white as porcelain. It seems a desecration that the Thais have good skin but they like photographs that give them a complexion of a London fog.

I've also noticed that his pizza deliveries have dropped off; he must be down to the 25bt mix and match meals from the market. It takes a while for these girls to realize that a well rounded ex line backer needs a bit more sustenance than is required to feed the average 40kg bar girl.

I've actually been through all this a few times myself. One time I got so fed up with listening to inane game shows and the like on Thai Tv I tried to adapt my UBC box to miss the first 20 channels. The superior look on my little friends face as I nearly electrocuted myself was the final straw.

And there comes the problem. Once you have bored of the arrangement somehow you have to get them to leave. Some of the best stories involving farang/thai relationships concern the parting of the ways. Anybody who likes to talk about the grace and beauty of Thai women has never seen one of these hellcats when they are on a mission of chaos and destruction.

A spurned Thai women encompasses a Ted Bundy like violence together with the cunning of the Borgias. Forget any sense of western reason or compromise the best you can hope for is survival. I read somewhere once that "love was the fear of losing' the problem in Thailand is what you are in very real danger of losing. A few weeks back there were pictures on the news of a neatly severed male organ sitting in a rice cooker, the poor unfortunates wife had also killed herself after disposing of him for whatever his infidelity was.

I don't know if it's true or not but apparently shares in Tefal rocketed after that news item. It was something to do with Mother in Laws buying their daughters new electric steamers as a gentle reminder that their husbands would be better off if they didn't think about straying.

Well this is all in the future for my presently blissful neighbor, at the moment it's all wine flowers and sex on tap. I'd be jealous if it wasn't for the fact that one day soon he's going to be working out whether he's better off living in Mukdahan or Hat Yai to avoid the 4ft 3" psycho little miss Lek has become.